they said to control it, to govern the italians is not difficult. it is impossible so in a situation like that, would have been impossible to control anything anything. so i left. >> so you left. >> and then i became a free bird. >> and how did that feel? >> fantastic. that was fantastic. i had been music director all my life, since 1968. london fill harmonia, philadelphia orchestra after-- lascala, 19 years and so after so many years of hard work, not only artistically, musically but about all the other things that-- a good and honest music director has to take care of, i worked so hard that suddenly i felt i, you know, light. i have to do only music when i want, where i want, and how i want. i was-- i felt like a bird as i said before. and that was the period when the new york philharmonic asked me to become the music director. i did several concerts, many concerts with the new york philharmonic, beautiful concerts. i admire those musicians. i think that they are very good. and i have wonderful memories. so when i asked to become music director i